This isn’t the most healthy recipe that I’ve ever come up with, but at least none of the ingredients have been classified as carcinogenic like real bacon!

I never liked real bacon anyway, the amount of fat that comes off it is grotesque. If you don’t pour bacon fat down the sink for fear of the drains getting blocked, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be adding it to your body. After all, your arteries are much thinner than the kitchen plumbing!

These delightful little crumbles make a great topping for soups and salads, or can be added to a dairy-free carbonara sauce to add a salty, crunchy hit.

Ingredients (Makes 1 ½ cups):

• 1 x heaped cup wheat gluten (equal to 160g)
• 1 x tsp garlic powder
• 3 x tsp smoked paprika (split into 2 & 1 tsps)
• 2 ½ x tsp salt (split into 2 & ½ x tsp)
• 3 x tbsp. vegetable oil (split into 2 & 1 tbsp.)
• ½ x tbsp. soy sauce
• 1 x tbsp. Maple syrup
• ¹/₃ x cups water (equal to 175 ml)

Method:

1. Add the wheat gluten, garlic powder, 2 tsp paprika and 2 tsp salt to a food processor and whiz until blended.
2. Add 2 tbsp. vegetable oil, soy sauce, maple syrup and water and blend until “crumbles” form. If the crumbles look too floury then add another tablespoon of water. However you don’t want big chunks as these won’t crisp up as well.
3. Add 1 tbsp. of vegetable oil to a non-stick frying pan and heat over a medium flame.
4. Add the raw crumbles and fry until browned and slightly blackened in places. Be sure to continually stir to prevent the crumbles from burning. This will take 15 – 20 mins.
5. During the last few minutes, add the remaining 1 tsp paprika and ½ tsp salt and stir well to make sure the crumbles are evenly coated.
6. They will firm up and become more crunchy once cooled. If adding to a sauce, add last to make sure they don’t go too soft.

Flash-Gordonette…X